As has been well-established, I have a slight preoccupation with beauty and skincare. But I have a shameful secret: I’ve got the blackened feet of a religious visionary who’s eschewed the material world and roams the mountains of Tibet, ragged and barefoot.
I’m gonna have to throw Paris under the bus for this. They just don’t have the same pedicure culture that New York does. You really don’t want to see the summer feet of Parisians on the metro—because they all look like mine.
But this particular beauty problem has been solved! And how.
Baby Foot Peel is a Japanese product that reached mass hysteria levels last year. These plastic booties are filled with a gel containing 17 kinds of fruit enzymes (read: acids) that cause the callused carapace surrounding your baby feet (get the name now?) to fall off in “sheets.” Like a molting snake. Their testimonial pictures are on the gross side, unless you enjoyed watching that “hugest zit in the world being popped” video. Blech. Typing the title alone makes me want to heave.
Lest you think I’m late to any beauty trend—as if—I actually tried foot peel booties last summer. I used the Tony Moly brand because
people I know Amazon reviewers were raving that it was better than Baby Foot Peel. They lied, those foot fuckers. After two weeks, I had some light peeling on the top of my feet and absolutely nothing going on elsewhere. No sheets, major fail.
But when it comes to gimmicky beauty products, I am an eternal optimist. Since summer is around the corner and my feet continue to shame me, I bought a box of the original Baby Foot Peel and broke them booties out last week. They say you only have to wear the booties for an hour but foot peel enthusiasts insist that keeping them on longer will result in more shedding. As my objective was maximum molt, I took these precautions (which I didn’t do last time so maybe not totally Tony Moly’s fault):
- Downloaded three episodes of Arrow
- Soaked feet for 15 minutes before putting on booties
- Watched all three eps, disappointed that Stephen Amell doesn’t take off his shirt anymore
- Told husband to sleep downstairs because my soon-to-be born-again feet took precedence over his nocturnal needs (as did trying to peep Amell abs)
- Total acid-bootie wearing time: 2 hours, give or take
After washing off the gel, you wait somewhere between 5 to 7 days for something to happen. Like clockwork, after my Day 5 shower, layers of skin started peeling away. Though you’re not supposed to pull it off, it takes too much willpower to resist! You’ll know when you shouldn’t keep pulling because it will hurt, kind of like a scab you should leave alone. My kids really enjoy picking the skin away, too. Today my son tugged off my sock, “Mama, I want to peel your foot.” We’re like a pack of baboons here, hunched over my scaly feet, which makes me believe it’s a primal instinct. Or we’re just weird.
This is Day 7! My utter glee at having emerging baby feet (like when Deadpool grew a new hand) is why I would ever reveal such revolting photos of myself. Look away if things of this nature disgust you like it does my husband. (Clearly, sexy time has been shelved until further notice.)
The verdict: Hell yes to Baby Foot Peel! For half the price of a pedicure (€16 on this site), your feet really do come out looking like a baby’s. I plan on doing this again in a month. Now if only they’d make a body-sized bootie…
LES LOLOS Tip: Soaking helps the dead skin fall away so soak your feet everyday or take a longish shower.